Day 3: Guardian angel

 If only I could meet Yvonne's guardian angel... If only this angel had balls and asshole. What incredible pleasure would it bring to me to slowly twist and tear off the angel's balls and, one by one, squeeze them up the angel's pure white asshole. I never bothered plucking a chicken - I just don't have the patience for it. I swear by my life and sanity, that I would have enough patience to slowly, leisurely pluck every feather out of this angel's wings. I would start with the right one. Just because I would feel like it. Then proceed to the left one. Then, I would skin the angel alive, saw the skin in a sack and make a big feather pillow that the angel would have to sleep on for the rest of his eternal life.

Unfortunately, there are no guardian angels. We make our lives, we ourselves and some dumb luck. And dumb luck doesn't have balls, asshole, feathers and skin.

Hatred and despair hopelessly twirl inside my mind. But there is nothing I can do. On Monday Yvonne will go to our family doctor, an orthopedic surgeon. He will take a look at her and make a surgery appointment. Another injury, another surgery, another half a year of recovery, another wasted climbing season.

I just painted this scar on Yvonne's shoulder, with a few magic markers. It looks stupid and fake. Unfortunately, in three weeks, she will probably have a real scar here. Why is life so unfair? It just seems so utterly wrong.
 
2007. Torn ACL. Surgery
2008. Unjured wrist. Surgery.
2010. Both shoulders hurt from wear and tear.
2011. Collarbone broken, one full year of recovery.
2012. The right shoulder hurts again.

With the collarbone almost healed, Yvonne finally started climbing again. I was so happy. We did a few easier slab routes. Yvonne's brain and footwork were recovering amazingly fast. We climbed 5.7 slabs in Roger's Rock, we climbed 5.9-5.10 slabs in Owl's Head. The sun shined on us and the life was smiling. We were finally climbing together again. We hadn't climbed since 2008. We already planned a trip out West for the spring and possibly another one for summer.

And, then Yvonne told me. Her shoulder hurt, sharp tingling pain, twinges, the same stuff again. Most likely she will have to do surgery to remove a bone spur that is tearing her tendon.

WHY?!!!!

So many of my friends climb for years and years, push themselves hard, and... don't have any injuries. Why is the person most important to me in the whole world so fucked up?